Archive for December, 2009

I haven’t posted about this on the blog yet, but we recently found out that our landlord filed bankruptcy, which terminates our lease and in essence forces us out.  So, even though we have lived in 4 houses/3 states in the last 14 months and our family has been through so much upheaval, we will be moving yet again.  As BJ and I discussed our plans last night, I was just so mad.  At one point, BJ stopped me and asked me who it was that I was so mad at.  And the answer is:  I don’t know.  I’m just mad.  The feeling lingered with me today.  Mad that we have to move again.  Mad that housing is so expensive.  Mad that a business shipment I had been waiting for had been shipped to our old Arizona address (despite the fact that I updated my address at check-out), mad that an hour after I bought a swim-top at the Modbe going-out-of business sale, they discounted the price an additional 66%, mad that I am behind on laundry.  The anger and frustration just added onto itself until things that were really not a bid deal became a big deal and I was feeling blinded by the anger.

Then…it was time for family night.  We had been asked by our Bishop to participate in a toy drive.  So, tonight we met up with other families from our area to deliver unwrapped presents, which will be given to children in need this Christmas.  Before going, I rummaged through the “gift boxes” stashed away in the back of the Bub’s closet and came up with several nice gifts from which the kids could choose.  They each carefully selected the gift they wanted to give.  It was so fun to watch them carry the gifts they had chosen and add them to the pile of presents previously delivered.  Then, on the drive home, they started speculating about the child who would receive the gift they had given.  Imagining how old she might be.  What she might look like.  How happy she would be.  Because it was right on our way home, we stopped in at the library.  As we were walking in, it started to gently snow and we paused to watch the ice skaters glide around the rink.  It was a pretty magical night.  BJ will definitely have to take Mae Mae there on a date sometime soon so she can try out her new ice skates! So, despite my recent moodiness, I am feeling the Christmas spirit tonight.  I am thankful for the tender mercy of this scheduled gift drop-off that changed my mindset and helped me to look outside my own life.  I am thinking more deeply and meaningfully about the message President Uctdorf gave at the First Presidency Christmas devotional last night.  He spoke about how when Christ was here upon the earth, many people could not see Him.  They could not see that He was the promised Messiah.  Why could they not see Him?  Pride.  Indifference.  Self-Importance.  There were countless reasons.  Similarly, there are many around us who disregard the Savior.  Sometimes we even get too focused on the details of our lives that we forget Him.  Of such, President Uctdorf said,  “[T]heir hearts are so focused on the world that they cannot see the Christ.”  Then, he paused and looked right at the camera.  It felt as if he were looking right into my soul.  After a long pause, he said, “Can you see the Christ?”

Tonight, I feel humbled.  I will admit that my emotions have been on a roller-coaster lately.  On one extreme, I feel peace and a surety that the Lord has a plan amidst all the craziness.  That he knows our family.  That as we have faith in Him and seek His will, He guides us.  I know that to be true.  So, why then does the anger still creep in?  I am just so tired.  So tired of watching my children struggle to fit in at a new school and make new friends, just to be forced to leave it all behind.  Over and over again.  So, it is a struggle for me right now to control my emotions, to have enough faith to overpower the anger. I can’t handle it on my own anymore.   I can’t allow frustration to take over my life.  I need to turn my burden over the the Lord.  He can comfort my children.  He can give me the strength to handle setbacks with dignity and patience.

In the Spirit of Christmas…I am sharing some favorites from a recent family Christmas portrait session!  :)   All pictures taken at about 2:00 in the afternoon.  Not ideal lighting by any photographer’s standard.  But, that was the time we had and we made it work.  I think they turned out beautifully!

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With Christmas just a few weeks away and your LONG to-do list still awaiting…

Consider ordering your Christmas cards, customized with professional images from your session and have them delivered directly to your doorstep!  There are so many amazing template options this year.  So, let me know which is your favorite and I will get to work designing your personalized cards!

Classic Christmas Collection:

Samples numbered

Festive Spirit Collection:

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Holiday Gem Collection:

Holiday Gem Samples

Merry Wishes Collection:

MW Sample 1A-web

MW Sample 2A-web

Do you remember this beautiful high school senior I recently did senior portraits for?

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Last week, I met up with her family for their Christmas portraits.

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They brought their two dogs along for the shoot.

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It was so sweet to watch them interact so lovingly with their dogs.  It started me thinking along the pet path.  I have never thought of myself as a pet person.  When I was 7 years old, my family moved out to the “country”.  My Dad built a custom home on an acre of land.  Throughout the years, we had several different pets off and on.  We had rabbits at one point.  They were cute, but one hot summer day, they all died of heat stroke.  For awhile, we boarded my Uncle’s horse.  That was neat.  But, the horse was a wild mustang so we couldn’t actually ride it.  I do remember going out and feeding it apples or carrots and even leading it around by a rope.  Once a large turtle wandered into our backyard and we took care of it until we were able to locate it’s owners.  That was pretty cool.  We had goats for awhile.  I could not get excited about the goats.  My little sister was allergic to cow’s milk so my parents bought a goat so we could have goat’s milk for her.  So, at least there was a function for that pet.  At some point, my Dad got a dog from the pound.  My Dad worked 24 hour shifts, so we were supposed to be in charge of feeding Cody when my Dad was at work.  Often, we would forget to feed him until we were all ready for school .  At that point, we didn’t want to go outside to feed him because he would inevitably jump up on us and get our clothes all muddy. I think he ended up back at the pound.

Well, then I move out.  Get married.  Have kids. Like most kids, my kids love animals.  Especially Mae Mae.  It is like they are therapeutic for her.  So, a couple of years ago, BJ and I decided to get a dog for our kids.  But, we had some stipulations.  My requirements:  It must be an outside dog.  It must be an attractive dog.  BJ’s requirements:  The dog must love to run and be a great running partner.  So, we settled on a lab.  We found a breeder who was selling pure-bred black lab 4-month old puppies.  We bought one.  We really liked her.  But, we had issues.  First of all.  She lived in our backyard in Arizona.  While we never kept her long enough to live through a torturous summer of 115 degree weather, I was worried about her out there.  We would go outside to play with her and she would get so excited that her tail would start wagging.  Because she was so big, she would knock the Foof right over!  Plus, she chewed up everything!  The hose, her bowl, her water dispenser, the trampoline, the kids shoes, etc.  Then, the big problem.  We didn’t know this, but apparently, she barked incessantly whenever we were not at home.  None of our neighbors complained or let us know about the problem until it all blew up one night.  It was during the Christmas season.  We were out late at a party and came home to craziness.  We had notes on our garage and our front door, neighbors confronting us, etc.  Apparently, one of our neighbors was having a party that night as well.  In his backyard, which bordered our backyard.  There was alcohol and some loud, raucous behavior.  Well, of course, Jetta was barking.   Probably even more than normal.  Well, they were mad (and probably a little drunk).  They started throwing stuff at her.  And yelling at her.  One of our neighbors was watching from her upstairs window and called her husband on his cell phone panicking that someone was going to kill our dog.  Scary!  Once we were aware of the barking issue, we had to start putting her in her kennel in the garage when we would leave.  Well, it got to be too much.  Too stressful.  Too sad for her.  Finally, we found a new home for her with a previous photography client who loved black labs.  Their lab had died of old age about a year earlier.  They wanted to keep her inside and love her.

And…that is the extent of my life with pets.  But, once again I am finding myself thinking about getting a pet.  However, if I were to get a pet now, I would go about it totally differently.  I would get a tiny, little, cute dog that we could keep inside.  That could become part of the family.  That the kids could snuggle when they felt sad.  I have this idyllic image in my head of the family watching a movie and our little puffball falling asleep while we stroke it’s soft hair.  It just seems really sweet.  I know the kids would be in heaven.  Maybe I could become a pet lover after all :)

Update…

December 1, 2009

Charai/Bri & family are in town this week for a wedding and have been staying in our basement.  We have been having way to much fun talking, laughing, reminiscing, watching the kids play, etc.  Previously, we had not seen them since we left Arizona over a year ago.   And since they are not on the Verizon network, we don’t get to talk nearly as much as we would like to.  I know that our cell phone plan should not determine our connection to family, but we are on a limited minutes plan and since we don’t have a home phone, we have to be really careful with our minutes.  Regarding phones: I actually miss having a home phone.  I think the thing I miss the most is my headset.  I know that I could get a headset for my cell phone, but I don’t have one and I do have a headset for my non-existent home phone.  I learned this trick from Sarah.  Housework is so much more enjoyable while chatting with a friend.  So, clip on that headset and it is amazing what you can accomplish while talking.  I love talking.  Starting at 15 months, I was speaking in full sentences and have not stopped since.  My Mom often relates her memory of when I learned to read silently to myself.  There was finally silence for the first time in 5 years!  HaHa!  So, join Verizon and I will happily talk to you while mopping my floors, scrubbing my toilets and organizing my closets :)   Anyways, the Allen crew leaves for home tomorrow morning.  Makes me a little sad.  I just wish everyone I love could move to Utah and live by me…Please?

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