On Monday afternoon, I returned home from a friend’s house and checked my messages. There was a message from Tressa saying that Dad had tried to make an appointment with his doctor that morning because he was experiencing some chest pain. They were unable to see him that day so they referred him to the emergency room. When he arrived at the ER, he was experiencing a mild heart attack so they immediately sent him to Tucson Medical Center by helicopter. Meanwhile, my Mom was up in Utah because she decided to stay there in between two family reunions. My Dad went to the first reunion, drove Karli and the boys home. Then, he planned to be home for a week before flying back up to Utah for the second vacation. Well, I called the hospital and they told me that he was just taken to the cath lab for some “procedure.” The nurse was unable to give me specifics as she had not been authorized to give me information. But, she did tell me that they expected him be able to have just an overnight stay and go home the next day. She even said that she expected that he would be able to drive himself home. Well, his car was at the Safford Hospital still because he had been flown to Tucson. So, I called Karli. We knew that if we were in a similar position that Dad would be there for us as soon as possible. So, we quickly packed and headed down to Tucson. I am SO glad that we did. When we got there, my Grandpa and Grandma Stapley were already there sitting with Dad. It was so comforting to see them there.

I was emtional as I watched them tenderly talk to and care for Dad and realized that it doesn’t matter how grown up your kids are, they are still your babies. I thought back to when Jase was in the hospital and realized that Grandma must feel similar to how I felt a few weeks ago as I held my baby in the emergency room and prayed for ministering angels to be with him, watch over him and comfort him.

Dad told us that the “procedure” they performed was an angiogram. What they discovered was not good. One of his main arteries was 100% blocked and another artery was 60%-70% blocked. They were able to do an angioplasty on one of the arteries, but the other they could not treat with a non-invasive procedure…and they were discussing open heart surgery. Yikes! Thankfully, Jared had come down with Karli and I and Brett followed as soon as he finished with patients for the day. So, Dad’s “sons” were able to give him a special blessing. On Monday night as we all sat around Dad’s hospital bed, we talked and cried and laughed.

Brett told us told us that when he told B that Grandpa was in the hospital, that B immediately asked if Grandpa was going to die. After all those kids have been through this past year with the loss of their Grandma, their feelings are fragile. Brett shared that he had very selfish purposes for wanting my Dad to recover quickly, change his diet/exercise habits and live a long life…because he didn’t want to see his kids experience more pain. I think we all agreed. We all felt selfish. I want my Dad’s wisdom, his guidance, his…presense in my life.
That night, Grandpa and Grandma drove home. Brett drove home. In the morning, Jared headed home. So, it was just Karli, me and our baby boys still in Tucson. It was a little tricky because no children younger than 14 yrs. are allowed in the ICU, so we had to take turns visiting Dad and taking care of the babies. The tone in Dad’s room on Tuesday was much more somber than it had been the night before. By this time, the doctor had met with my Dad and explained that he would be performing bypass surgery, which requires that they break the sternum, open the chest cavity and, using arteries or veins from other parts of the body, detour blood around the blockages. You could tell that the severity of the situation was starting to settle in. We were all a bit more emotional. We were, however, very thankful that Holly and Brett gave my Mom one of their voucher tickets so that she could fly home to be with Dad. She was able to find a flight to Tucson and we all were looking forward to her arrival that night.
After the morning visiting hours, Karli and I decided to go get some lunch. Well, that morning we had parked in a “closer” parking lot than the lot we parked in the night before. We were wandering around the hospital trying to figure out how to get back to our car, when a hospital worker saw the lost look in our eyes and gave us directions. Only, his directions sent us in the exact opposite direction we were supposed to be going. Finally, we asked the sweet old man working at the reception desk how to get to lot 6. He said, “Why in the world would you want to go to lot 6?” When we told him our car was there, he chuckled. Then, he kindly offered to call for a cart to take us around to our car. Once we got back to our car, there was a huge monster truck stalled right behind Karli’s tahoe blocking us in. Seriously? So, we helped them push their truck back and we were able to go get some lunch and do a little shopping before visiting hours started again. You see, when we drove down to Tucson, we had spoken to a hospital worker who told us that he would probably be able to go home the following day. So, we did not come prepared to stay two nights. But, once we knew that the surgery was scheduled for the following day, we could not possibly drive home. So, we were able to get a few things that we needed. Meanwhile, we were scheming a way to get my parents car to Tucson. Some of my parents friends from Thatcher were in Tucson for appointments and stopped by to visit Dad. I had asked if Jase and I could ride back with them to pick up my parents car so that my Mom would have a car to drive while she was there and so that they would have a way to get home once my Dad was discharged from the hospital. Their friends were so obliging and assured me that they would be happy to take me to Thatcher. I am so thankful for their love and service. As it turns out, my grandparents and Aunt Dorothy wanted to come back to Tucson to be at the hospital while my Dad was in surgery the following day. So, they ended up driving to Thatcher, meeting my parents’ friends who took the car keys (instead of my, Jase and the car keys) and drove my parents car out to Tucson.
So, Karli and I each took another turn visiting my Dad, then headed back to Karli’s in-laws house for a little rest before heading out to the airport to pick up my Mom. I am so thankful to Jared’s parents for opening their home to us and taking such good care of us. The boys loved the sliding door mirror and the buckets full of boy toys!

Isn’t “B” so cute? He is just suck a laid back little guy…

Unfortunately, our rest did not turn out quite as restful as we imagined it would be. I was sitting in the rocking chair with Jase, when he reached out and pulled a flower off the silk plant right next to us…and I didn’t even notice. That is, I didn’t notice until he started choking. Of course, I quickly flipped him upside down on my leg and started pounding his back. I am not sure how long that part of the silk flower remained lodged in his throat, but it seemed like forever to me. I think Karli even suggested that we call 911 at some point. By now, I felt pretty certain that I could not handle much more drama. He was finally able to settle down and I carried him in the car all the way to the airport so I could keep a close eye on him. After we picked my Mom up from the hospital, we went straight to the hospital. I know that as soon as my Mom was there, Karli and I both felt a huge weight lifted. I am sure that my Dad felt unbelievably thankful that she was thereas well. Just having her there was so calming and comforting. She is the ultimate nurturer. Before Karli and I left for the evening, we had a couple of minutes to ourselves with Dad. He got emotional when he told us that he wasn’t worried about himself, just worried about Mom and the family. Karli and I went back to the Tomkinsons to get the boys settled in for the night and my Mom stayed with my Dad until late that night when all visitors had to leave the ICU.
The next morning, we woke up, quickly got ready and headed straight to the hospital where they were busy prepping my Dad for surgery. They even had to cut his wedding band off…that he had worn for 35+ years.

The last time I saw my Dad before his surgery, as I was leaving the room, he said goodbye to me. That was the wrong thing to say! So Dad, next time you are in a life threatening situation, could you please remember to say, “See you in a few hours, Mindy.” Not goodbye! Got it? But, we were there when his surgeon came in to talk with him and us…and answer any questions we might have. He explained to us that he would be performing a quadruple bypass surgery. He told Dad that it was his 100,000 mile tune-up and Dad asked if it came with a lifetime warranty. We felt very blessed though because Dad’s fantastic nurses all agreed that if they could pick the cardio-thoracic surgeon to perform the operation, they would have chosen the exact surgeon that Dad got. I know that was an answer to our prayers and a direct blessing from Heavenly Father. Before leaving, we all hugged, cried and reminded Dad to be strong and remember how much we love him and care about him. Then, we left to go to the waiting room.

…and then the waiting began. The first several hours were manageable as we just focused on the babies. We fed, chased, played with, and changed the boys. There was not much to entertain them, just one ball toy that was connected to the wall in one room and the fish tank in the main waiting area. Thankfully, we had come prepared with snacks

But, once the expected completion time came and went, we all started feeling anxious. One really neat thing was that we got a chance to talk with Aunt Dorothy. We shared favorite books, recipes, stories, etc. I think that was probably the single longest conversation I have ever had with her and really enjoyed our time together. Grandma crocheted a blanket and probably would have come close to finishing it if she hadn’t run out of yarn.

Finally, an hour and a half after the doctor had estimated, he came out to tell us that the surgery went well, that Dad was in the recovery room, but that we would be able to see him in about an hour or two. Gratitude and relief were the strongest emotions I felt. We took the opportunity to go get some lunch. When we came back after lunch, we were able to go see Dad. He was still heavily sedated from the anesthesia and could not respond to us, but we talked to him anyways and told him how much we love him. They let Mom stay in the ICU with him, but Karli and I went back to her in-laws home for a few hours and waited for the next assigned visiting hours. Jared’s parents offered to watch the boys for us that evening so that we could go in together to see Dad one last time before heading home. He was still really sleepy and was still intubated so he could not talk to us. But, he could respond. Karli said, “Hi Daddy.” He opened his eyes for a second, looked at her, then waved his fingers. When I told him I loved him, he nodded his head. And when Holly called to check in on him, Mom held the phone up to his ear and let Holly talk to him. When Mom told Holly that he heard her, he nodded his head again. I think his most emphatic nod came when I mentioned to Karli that he was almost too tall for the bed because his feet were smooshed up right against the foot of the bed! No, actually the most emphatic response he made was when Mom was saying that maybe Dad wanted his rest and that she should leave when we did. So, she asked him if he wanted her to stay. Yes. He immediately nodded his head. He wanted her there with him.

It was time for Karli and I to start our trek home. Though he was still sleepy and maybe not 100% aware, we knew that he knew that we were there. That we loved him. My Mom walked us out to the parking lot to see where we had parked her car. As we left his room and started to walk down to hallway leading out of the ICU, the tears would not stop falling. Karli said, “It is just so sad to leave him alone.” I did feel torn. I wanted to sit there and hold his hand until he could talk to me and tell me that he was okay. But, we had to get home to our families.
I have not seen him again since that day, but have talked to him several times on the phone. But…I get to see him this weekend! I need to see him. Today, I was feeling really emotional about life and wanted some fatherly counsel and advice. I called him and was able to talk with him while he did his daily walking time, pacing back and forth through the house. I have never appreciated his tender love and guidance more than I did today. I have always loved and honored him (well maybe I was a bit difficult during my teenage years), but knowing how fragile life is makes me that much more grateful for the counsel he was able to give to me today. Dad, I love you, honor you and respect you! Thanks for living…and for always loving me.